You've never asked me how my day was
What makes you think it is the same everyday?
Ive never said Im OK, or am i not... but it doesn't really matter anyway
Coz you'll never know how i feel
Do you think Im OK coz i look the part?
Or do you think that i am gonnabe OK because i usually forgive from the bottom of my heart.
What should i do?
What do i do?
I live each day painfully because of your words
You tell me if this is a bad thing to do
Coz you are not living each day painfully like i am
You and Me.
What should i do?
Do i not have a chance?
When things go wrong, why is it i am always the one blamed?
Finally is that it?
Is that OK with you when it is not with me?
I don't think i can do it
I am sorry i am simply not OK.
What should i do?
What do i do?
If it isn't you, then who else?
I hope you'll hold me, and comfort me.
And tell me that everything's OK
But you didnt
What should i do?
Still wishing i never had to live each day painfully because of your words...
You and me.
What am i to do?
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
A Pleasant Surprise.
Precious came to visit me at work today – Of Course, tagged along was my parernts, little Sarah and her parents as well. It was an excellent surprise.
I kept thinking of my little one.
Anyway, she is an Infant now, and weighs 6.5Kg… but no worries coz she’s one tall girl. I wonder whose genes she follows. HeHe.
Work, surprisingly, I have no problems adjusting myself though there are changes. Perhaps I am just a natural career mum even though I really miss my Precious at times. On top of her coo-ings and ahh-ings and all those little sounds she makes, she has also begun stuffing BOTH her fists into her mouth. Having done a lot of research online, I AM sure she is now in her teething stage. She’s adorable when she does everything that she does. No other baby could be cuter than mine.. hehe.
Also another big event in my life is Hubby turning 33. Though he claims he looks 25, and younger, I don’t think he does. Seriously, from the bottom of my heart. He looks and acts the part of a 33-year old very well. There is no need for any improvement/changes/adjustments…
As for me, in less than 2 months. I will be turning 26. How time flies. I really hope the day will turn out as planned. Till then, ill be waiting, patiently and crossing my fingers. Tight Tight!
I kept thinking of my little one.
Anyway, she is an Infant now, and weighs 6.5Kg… but no worries coz she’s one tall girl. I wonder whose genes she follows. HeHe.
Work, surprisingly, I have no problems adjusting myself though there are changes. Perhaps I am just a natural career mum even though I really miss my Precious at times. On top of her coo-ings and ahh-ings and all those little sounds she makes, she has also begun stuffing BOTH her fists into her mouth. Having done a lot of research online, I AM sure she is now in her teething stage. She’s adorable when she does everything that she does. No other baby could be cuter than mine.. hehe.
Also another big event in my life is Hubby turning 33. Though he claims he looks 25, and younger, I don’t think he does. Seriously, from the bottom of my heart. He looks and acts the part of a 33-year old very well. There is no need for any improvement/changes/adjustments…
As for me, in less than 2 months. I will be turning 26. How time flies. I really hope the day will turn out as planned. Till then, ill be waiting, patiently and crossing my fingers. Tight Tight!
Friday, June 12, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
4 more weeks to work!
4 more weeks before i start work. The only problem i have now is not being able to fit into my uniform. That SUCKS like BIG TIME.
Should i start running?
Should i?
Technically, i am already running away... from people, from facts, from certain things i dubbed necessary.
Precious - as playful as ever. She recognises me, and her eyes seem to follow me wherever i go. And when i get bored and just throw her aside, she'll be looking, or rather staring at my Hubby as if wanting his attention. HeHe. That's my bright, little girl - Nur Shasmeen Arissa.
Another cute thing Precious does is blah..blah..blah.
Sorry i can't type it out for it's too personal and rather 'blue'. HaHa.
4 more weeks to go...
4 more weeks for me to spent my time 24/7 with Precious.
4 more weeks for her to smell her mummy, to lick her mummy... to poo, pee and poot on her mummy... HaHa.
I love my little angel.
Should i start running?
Should i?
Technically, i am already running away... from people, from facts, from certain things i dubbed necessary.
Precious - as playful as ever. She recognises me, and her eyes seem to follow me wherever i go. And when i get bored and just throw her aside, she'll be looking, or rather staring at my Hubby as if wanting his attention. HeHe. That's my bright, little girl - Nur Shasmeen Arissa.
Another cute thing Precious does is blah..blah..blah.
Sorry i can't type it out for it's too personal and rather 'blue'. HaHa.
4 more weeks to go...
4 more weeks for me to spent my time 24/7 with Precious.
4 more weeks for her to smell her mummy, to lick her mummy... to poo, pee and poot on her mummy... HaHa.
I love my little angel.
The neverending conflict.
Hubby asks : "What is it with you girls? How come you go all quiet when you're supposed to be so-called clearing up all the misunderstanding you think you have? He even added that for guys, whenever a conflict arises, they'll settle it there and then but it seems like for us girls, we tend to dilly-dally, as if waiting to see who'll give in first.
Between me and the 2 of them, i don't know what went wrong. We were so close back in the schooldays - all 3 of us. But now, it seems like there's only 2 of them, and im the odd one out. I have no clue as to what happen. Have i done something wrong? Was i misunderstood? If it was because i have been missing, all i can say is that i have my reasons... and if only you people had cared enough to ask, perhaps then we would still be as close as ever. But anyway, I never asked, and they never tell. So i guess the years of friendship we have will just be going down the drain - as simple as that. Everytime i happen to see her outside, she just treated me coldly and with short, uninterested answers during conversations. So how is it then that i am in the wrong?
I am tired of this childish acts. I am so tired of wondering whatever the hell is wrong and i am so tired of waiting for nothing to happen. I assume that should they need me, they'll know where to find me. Otherwise, ill just have to take it as if ive never known them. It's 2 against 1 here so why should i continue to let myself be bullied time and again? She didnt come to my wedding, nor did anyone of them congratulate me for my giving birth. It dissapoints - to know that they are not there but just Technically there.
Anyway, if they want to end it, i will be fine but like i said, it is a Great Waste cos among all the rest, we were 3 of the very best...
Between me and the 2 of them, i don't know what went wrong. We were so close back in the schooldays - all 3 of us. But now, it seems like there's only 2 of them, and im the odd one out. I have no clue as to what happen. Have i done something wrong? Was i misunderstood? If it was because i have been missing, all i can say is that i have my reasons... and if only you people had cared enough to ask, perhaps then we would still be as close as ever. But anyway, I never asked, and they never tell. So i guess the years of friendship we have will just be going down the drain - as simple as that. Everytime i happen to see her outside, she just treated me coldly and with short, uninterested answers during conversations. So how is it then that i am in the wrong?
I am tired of this childish acts. I am so tired of wondering whatever the hell is wrong and i am so tired of waiting for nothing to happen. I assume that should they need me, they'll know where to find me. Otherwise, ill just have to take it as if ive never known them. It's 2 against 1 here so why should i continue to let myself be bullied time and again? She didnt come to my wedding, nor did anyone of them congratulate me for my giving birth. It dissapoints - to know that they are not there but just Technically there.
Anyway, if they want to end it, i will be fine but like i said, it is a Great Waste cos among all the rest, we were 3 of the very best...
Monday, May 11, 2009
Friends...
Firstly, a BIG THANK YOU to my closest pals who came down last Saturday. I was expecting to have no friends from the day i got married onwards... but i was proven wrong. HeHe. My Doverites gang are still around except for 1 moron who kept changing numbers... Anyway, he is NOT important. Thanks again for coming, especially Kin since you came from SO FAR AWAY... .. ... I really look forward to our next outing or even the counting down of someone's marriage/engagement... though i have yet to know who, or rather who's first...
Another friend i was expecting to see was definitely 'her'. My Primary school mate, Buddy, Pal, Laughing Partner (We laugh a lot together)... Ive missed her and she didnt let me down. She came with another Primary School mate whom ive also not seen for quite some time. We sat and chatted about the old times. I sure remembered OUR old times... Walking home from school together as we have no money for bus fare for it has been spent on Junk Food.. Laughing together, even though no one made a joke.. When we played 'zero-point', it was always us and the badminton pole as we need 3 people to play..hehe. Those were the days. I really missed all that. I hope to see her soon, again. And i also hope my baby will be as Pretty and Sweet as her. :p
And BTW, i forgot to take our Picture togethe for i was all too excited when we met. Another time perhaps... :)
Precious Update : I bet she is over 5Kg now.
Another friend i was expecting to see was definitely 'her'. My Primary school mate, Buddy, Pal, Laughing Partner (We laugh a lot together)... Ive missed her and she didnt let me down. She came with another Primary School mate whom ive also not seen for quite some time. We sat and chatted about the old times. I sure remembered OUR old times... Walking home from school together as we have no money for bus fare for it has been spent on Junk Food.. Laughing together, even though no one made a joke.. When we played 'zero-point', it was always us and the badminton pole as we need 3 people to play..hehe. Those were the days. I really missed all that. I hope to see her soon, again. And i also hope my baby will be as Pretty and Sweet as her. :p
And BTW, i forgot to take our Picture togethe for i was all too excited when we met. Another time perhaps... :)
Precious Update : I bet she is over 5Kg now.
Monday, May 4, 2009
My eggs expired... ???
I was re-arranging cum cleaning my kitchen cabinet, and also throwing away foodstuffs that have long expired. There wasnt a lot but one of them was the eggs. I wonder how long exactly have i not been cooking... Eggs are considered a fast-moving item, an essential, a necessity in almost every household - though definitely not mine. It expired somewhere last month. I was wondering if a chick would somehow pop out if i were to fry the egg... but upon realising how cold my fridge is (It is only a year old),i doubt the chick would survive...
And 1 more thing, i sure have a hell lot of JUNK in my fridge and cabinets.
As for Precious, she is 7 weeks old as at today.
At 5Kg now, she suceeded in making me strain my left wrist, which is almost of no use now.
Anyway, while browsing at MY baby photos, i was amazed to see how alike i was then to Precious now... except for the eyes. I do not have nice eyes. They are droopy... but the chubbiness, the BALDness in front, etc, is all the same...hehe. At least i can proudly declare her mine. And for a baby, she sure POOTs a lot - if you know what i mean... I have been peed, pooed, and even poot-ted. Haha. All baby talks for now.
I have brought Precious out to Vivocity which she seems to enjoy, to Marina Square where she sleeps a lot and to Jurongpoint a couple of timesthe past 2 weeks. Even brought her down to the shops in my area. I suppose it is only a matter of time before i bring her down to my workplace... haha
She'll be having her hair-cutting ceremony this coming weekend and i dread thinking how busy ill be as we had opted to not ORDER OUT. My family and i will be doing the cooking for about 150 peeps - or more. And i still have to play host and take care of Precious's needs at the same time. ArGh. Lucky i still have 5 more weeks to go before i start working... and speaking of that, what the HELL. I need to LOSE WEIGHT or else there is NO WAY i am going to fit into my uniform. I DREAD THAT MOST. How do i lose weight - especially my chest area... I find them TOO BIG. hehe. Seriously though. How i wish i could just poke it with a pin or something sharp.
Somebody help...
And 1 more thing, i sure have a hell lot of JUNK in my fridge and cabinets.
As for Precious, she is 7 weeks old as at today.
At 5Kg now, she suceeded in making me strain my left wrist, which is almost of no use now.
Anyway, while browsing at MY baby photos, i was amazed to see how alike i was then to Precious now... except for the eyes. I do not have nice eyes. They are droopy... but the chubbiness, the BALDness in front, etc, is all the same...hehe. At least i can proudly declare her mine. And for a baby, she sure POOTs a lot - if you know what i mean... I have been peed, pooed, and even poot-ted. Haha. All baby talks for now.
I have brought Precious out to Vivocity which she seems to enjoy, to Marina Square where she sleeps a lot and to Jurongpoint a couple of timesthe past 2 weeks. Even brought her down to the shops in my area. I suppose it is only a matter of time before i bring her down to my workplace... haha
She'll be having her hair-cutting ceremony this coming weekend and i dread thinking how busy ill be as we had opted to not ORDER OUT. My family and i will be doing the cooking for about 150 peeps - or more. And i still have to play host and take care of Precious's needs at the same time. ArGh. Lucky i still have 5 more weeks to go before i start working... and speaking of that, what the HELL. I need to LOSE WEIGHT or else there is NO WAY i am going to fit into my uniform. I DREAD THAT MOST. How do i lose weight - especially my chest area... I find them TOO BIG. hehe. Seriously though. How i wish i could just poke it with a pin or something sharp.
Somebody help...
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